We are often conditioned from an early age to put others first, to think of others’ feelings and needs, and subconsciously by doing so, not place enough, or any importance on our own.
Particularly for those of us who are healers, this sense of wanting to help others, to heal those around us, can result in very poor boundaries, and little or no self care. There can be an almost martyr- like tendency in some people, a sense of needing to sacrifice in order to heal and serve others. From childhood, women especially are taught to empathize, listen, take on another's problems, which becomes ingrained until it becomes a default response.
Many of us believe that pleasing others is the way to make them happy, or to make them like us. If we impress others, it satisfies our ego, and makes us feel like we are worthwhile, that we matter. That we mean something.
Boundaries are essential to living a healthy life. Having healthy boundaries means knowing and understanding what your limits are. Telling others what is acceptable to you and what's not.
Making sure our cup is full before we can give to others.
Self care is a necessity, not an indulgence. It is about self preservation not selfishness. Setting healthy boundaries are vital for our well-being.
