The fundamental difference for most introverts versus our extroverted counterparts is that we often need more TIME. For processing. For making decisions. For thinking things through. For planning and feel ready. Because we live in a fast-paced world, we can feel perpetually ‘behind’ or ‘slow’ if you're not first you're the last kind of world. That we don’t move as quickly, or things take us longer as more introverted types. I think it’s fair to say that if you’ve felt this way before, you’re not alone, so let’s take a look at what to do when you feel behind in your business.
Firstly, are you actually behind?
The capitalist world most of us exist within thrives because of its ability to sell us on the idea that we are behind. But, my question is always, behind who? The scarcity mentality that tends to follow business and selling in this structure will ALWAYS make us feel that we aren’t doing as well as we could be because we don’t ‘have that thing’.
So the first questions I like to ask my clients (and myself sometimes) are “Are you actually behind?” and – if so – behind who?
It is so within our nature to compare where we stand in the hierarchical structure – so we can find ourselves comparing with others and placing ourselves somewhere. We are either behind this person or ahead of that person.
What if we are all running our own race and there are far too many variables at play to appropriately judge this? We just don’t have all the information. Even those who have started after us or appear to have more than us may have a whole heap of other factors happening behind the scenes that we don’t know about.
When we just focus on OUR race, we’re not actually competing with anyone. And so it’s impossible to be behind, it’s only really possible to be exactly where we are.
What does this mean for you and your business?
When I start having these feelings of not being enough or not being where I thought I should be (I’m pretty sure we ALL have those feelings at some point in our business), I always ask myself:
“What’s really going on here?”
When you’re feeling behind, or notice yourself scrolling Instagram comparing yourself with others, or starting to doubt where you’re at in your business, the best thing we can do is stop for a minute and get real with ourselves.
Because these are often symptoms of a bigger cause, we can curiously explore the deeper meaning allow ourselves to FEEL it, instead of distracting and disconnecting by looking outside when we stop ourselves.
What’s really going on? Are you still doing work that you love? What are you avoiding? Where are you hiding or playing small? What’s worrying you?
Sit with questions such as this and be with it. Allow the emotions to move through you, journal it out if you need to.
Sometimes we have old stuff that’s been brought up from our past that needs acknowledging and clearing of old stagnant patterns (please seek support from an informed wellness practitioner if it feels too big for you to be with on your own).
Often it’s something we’ve been actively ignoring (like we need to outsource tasks we hate because they’re stopping us from being in our zone of genius, or we’ve been holding back from sharing our work).
It might even be that this feeling of being behind is a soul nudge to let us know that we AREN’T showing up the way we know we are ready for and it’s a little reminder to realign with our work and what we truly want.
What can you do to shift this feeling?
We can acknowledge the external systemic pressures that we feel. And we can turn within and acknowledge those little nudges and messages that our soul is sending us.
Feel the feels, acknowledge what’s going on, then let it move through you and shift the energy. Just like you would clear out a blocked pipe.
Cry, dance, write, run it outlet any old or stagnant energy release itself through your body. Let your mind and nervous system know that you see it and you’re ready to move it.
And then what can you do RIGHT NOW to move forward?
Do you need to permit yourself to rest? To choose to stop and let go of this idea that you’re falling behind? When I step back and work on my limiting beliefs in my subconscious mind that make me feel stagnant, I always come back more re-energized and ready to go. When I force myself to keep working, I just stay stuck in that old energy.
And, when you feel re-energized, how can you take your next step (whichever feels right for you? It might be reconnecting with the energy of your business and allowing that to guide you. Perhaps it’s sending an email/message to a past client to check-in, in, or writing a post that is a bit vulnerable but potent in that renewed energy. Maybe it’s grabbing your colored pens and paper and mapping out some new ideas. Let your energy and creativity guide you.
when you feel behind, get some extra support.
I’ve been talking to a lot of quiet, sensitive creative souls lately about my intensive program, 9 to Fabulous. The ones who are ready to go have been stepping up and, energetically, claiming their plans and visions in a heart-centered way. And others are dancing along the lines, talking themselves in and out of it.
Here’s the truth: there are no right or wrong choices.
I have done mini-programs that have changed my entire business. I have invested in some high-end programs that have been a bit meh. But I have ALWAYS learned something about myself and the energy I can create when I say yes instead of ‘no’ or ‘I don’t know. Can you feel the energy, even when you think of the three?
At some point, you have to make a choice. I KNOW that you can do it alone (you’ve gotten this far, right?!) And I know you’ve got what you need already. But, sometimes, we just need to say YES to something that will provide us with extra support and start co-creating the energy with other amazing souls.
